#still thinking about this hhhh
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Multiplayer mode things
#still thinking about this hhhh#after this the eichi player sent me a friend request :D#they were the one who picked the song too and only realised how fitting it was after#hhh#enstars#self game tag#ignore the notif that broke my combo at the end lmao
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Gift (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Second go around! Maybe he can talk about it with the one who actually got the scarf!#Or not haha - better to just let some things lie#Though ♪ Of course Papyrus would recognize Gaster's efforts ♥ His emotional intelligence hhhh <3#He knows everything there was Gaster's initially and so reading between the lines of Gaster telling him he can have it#It's a gift! Properly! That deserves praise!! Good job you did something nice!#I also deeply love when Gaster is first pulled back out how one of his first little smiles is at Papyrus being silly#Gaster is also very prideful! It's cute to see his son being self-aggrandizing in that kid way! Seeing him enjoy it is so nice ;;#Also I know that Papyrus is still shorter than Gaster I just really like the idea of him being almost his dad's height ;;#He's so grown up now! He's grown into such a beautiful adult <3#It does make sense that he's still shorter considering the whole ''torn in half'' thing ahh#Maybe Gaster is leaning down just let me have this lol#I also ended up doing a lot of digital reconstruction on this one!#Especially panels 2 through 4 - I actually pulled out my tablet to draw in the bits that got cut off by the surrounding doodles#I wasn't as careful with my spacing with these oops :P But I think they turned out pretty style-matched :)#Cute lads happy <3
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Intimacy
( x )
#l4d2#left 4 dead 2#l4d2 nellis#nellis#l4d2 nick#l4d2 ellis#l4d2 au#(if ya saw some of my prev works where it has Ellis wearing a flannel its them)#(I just decided to choose a different fit for Nick xdd)#(wait does it considered as an au if its like and idea or a what-ifs?)#(am just gonna tag it like that for now hhhh)#sfm#source filmmaker#sfm poster#fan art#fanwork#my art#inspo#//#am mixed about this because I thinking I do not like the editing but am still flabbergasted I made this? ToT#and it was the only time my burn out was gone but now its back quq#then ended up making some additional scenes but am just gonna post those in my alt because the song is just quq#anyway sorry for my yappin so much again xddd
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biting on my knuckle as i wait for my datv to download. it's about 40% rn and as excited as i am to play it (and i AM excited to play it), i think the "oh shit what if i don't like it." is finally setting in
#like ughhhhh. im sure i'll find something to like about it. i dont think i'll hate it completely even if it ends up not being to my taste#but im still like. worried idk. been so excited for this game for years#itll literally be fine but. hhhh
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target neutralized.
do not pin, reupload, copy, use or claim as your own, thanks.
#i still think about him often#the OG is back in town folks 😤😤#welcome back you old dog#god i’m brewing up updated backstory/lore for him so hhhh stay tuned coz i might release it#can u see those wrinkles can u see how old he is#i think i reached the point where he finally does look his age#i finished this in january but was too lazy to shade guns and leg holster 💀💀#still counting this as my january piece so first piece this year woooo#i’m so glad i spent 15 mins rendering burn scars in his neck and arm only to cover it up with tattoos and blood#but i know it’s there so that’s all that matters 🖤#tried some more funky lighting and damn what’s that no transparent background with a rectangle in the middle? that’s some wild experiment#saevus brutalis art#oc: vincent elijah vahn#saevus-brutalis art#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 oc#cyberpunk oc#male v#cyberpunk 2077 male v#cyberpunk v#cyberpunk 2077 art#brut art#cyberpunk 2077 v#cyberpunk#cyberpunk 2077 edit#art: vincent e. vahn
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WIP Wednesday!
“Why are you here?”
“Would you believe me if I said I missed you?”
“No.”
Snorting, Dazai raises their hand to order a whiskey. “Then would you believe I came here to reminisce about the good ol’ days?”
Chuuya turns to them, finally, face pulled into a grimace. “That smells even more like bullshit.”
#5+1 jealouszai#also still sitting here thinking about doing commissions....#I'll have student loans to pay in the near future hhhh#anyway#wip Wednesday#it's skk time~
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me in 2021, reading jujutsu kaisen for the very first time: wow, geto has gone waaay too far, i can see why, i can sort of understand why, but i can't excuse. like dude, was there really no other way, no one else has snapped
me in 2025:
#i still can't excuse but fuck have i not been wrong about understanding back then#i so goddamn hope i wont be thinking the same about 2025 me in 4 years#hhhh anyway#depression has been kicking my ass even aside of all the shit happening around#so it's an extra icing i guess#bas mumbles
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— Are you sure Burke wants to buy Collinwood? — Yes, he said so. I'm just afraid it's only the beginning of what he wants.
#76.#➤ roger collins & victoria winters & burke devlin. ┊ to know how it ends‚ and still begin to sing it again.#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#➤ re: burke devlin. ┊ I am stranded in a hungerland of great prosperity.#I just think about Lou’s acting choices a lot.#the little pleading pout he gives her … the yearning after her... the fussing that she's talking to burke in the doorway...#and the way vicki holds eye contact with him ... hhhh.#and this is sandwiched between talking to her on the cliffs and taking her out to the blue whale !! (i think all the same day?)#it's just so... impactful. that this is blocked in the threshold.#lingering between burke and roger; the drawing room and foyer; pulled to either side by two versions of what happened ten years ago.#roger tugging (forcefully) at her loyalty to the collins family and her gratitude for giving her a home and family;#burke tugging her sympathies because he also wants a home; roots; a big house to raise his kids in — he's alone in the world like she is.#[heathcliff] is more myself than i am!#and you can see the realization on his face that should burke tug her too far;#roger's cord of communion will snap and he will take to bleeding inwardly.#vicki by nature of her character not only responds to truth with her favor — but; conversely; by giving her favor creates truth.#when she likes and trusts and wants to spend time w/ roger he fares very well: a breakfast date where she supplies him with an alibi —#a dinner date that covers up his perjury meeting. vicki's good opinion is indispensable for his survival —#the very minute he loses that — when she is certain he's bill's murderer — she turns on him and so does everyone else and he immediately#loses his freedom (albeit only temporarily held at the police station rather than 5 years in prison)#she's not literally taken laura's place with them — but it's remarkable how much her romantic intentions influence the outcome of that#decade-old case; in just the same way that laura choosing roger as her husband and supplying truth through her testimony lead to#burke's condemnation before. it's much the same game roger is playing at this point in the story (at a significant disadvantage#to last time; because he can't offer vicki — penultimate Good Girl — a ring)#vicki's heart; affection; attraction; tied up fundamentally in Justice. and her position as narrator#making it all the more compelling that she writes Truth as vicki is navigating who *very literally* holds the Pen.#burke's story or roger's story? burke's [redacted] or roger's [redacted]?
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Thinking again about the difference in size between rbg arc kangaskahn vs xy arc kangaskahn…….
#like when did they get so small…….#it drives me insane like the Implications……….#it’s been like. 10 years I think?? about???? who really knows when the timeline is Like That#but like. god. is it that they’ve become more domesticated?? they’ve been caught and battled with so much that#they’re they’ve gotten smaller just as a convenience thing??#like I know that in practice it’s just the difference between early pksp vs modern pksp#because the whole thing has a very#‘‘this is a new world to us and we’re learning about it but we’ve still just barely scratched the surface of its secrets and wonders’’ feel#hhhh but it gnaws on my brain even still#pokemon adventures#pokespe#pksp#me post
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underaged sex absolutely feels like a niche kouao should have a monopoly on but I swear I rarely see it. Koujaku is statutory rapist material and Aoba was a fuck ass annoying teenager it's a match made in heaven
#i still think about koujaku in the drama CD saying he'd “ruthlessly and lovingly punish” aoba if started acting like how he did when he was#younger and i lose it HHHH
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systems with MaDD how do i tell if the 'conversations in my daydreams' are just alters communicating??? 😭
#like ik an obvious answer is 'if u cant control them theyre alters' but im already dissociating 99% of the time when im daydreaming#so i wont exactly be thinking about that until afterwards kfjdhf#so i wanna know like. the specifics ig#ive always had a feeling some past daydreams were rlly just alter interactions in the innerworld but its still hard 2 tell most times hhhh#srry if this doesnt make sense lol its late#claudia.txt#did#did system#dissociative identity disorder#endos dni#osdd#osdd system#osdd1b#system#madd#maladaptive daydreaming#maladaptive daydreaming disorder#actually madd#did questions#system questions#diary
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Just be honest! (Patreon)
Bonus:
Could be :)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Emperor Awesome#Commander Peepers#Maybe something less friendship and more something else Eyesome? :3c#Could be :)#Hhhh yet more fun poses and contact points! Especially Awesome's legs and Peepers resting his ''cheek'' on his hand :D#The slight squish upgrading to a full squish with the shape of his eye-cheek changing! I did that and I'm happy about it! Haha ♪#Plus how fun it is to draw him sitting lightly with his arm on his leg ah ♥ His proportions are so fun#Anyway ♪ Lol#Awesome's feeling all introspective and it's giving him the vapours lol#He's a hedonist! A coward! A gossip! Someone who coasts through life with no care to who he steps on! Except ♪#Not me thinking Peepers could be Awesome's Wander lol - ''If I stopped hating that one thing then what was the point of hating the rest?''#As soon as he starts seeing the humanity of one little guy where does that put him ♫#Personally I think he'd still be a mostly selfish jerk - at least for a while - considering how hard realizing he even Likes Peeps would be#Even here he's like ''This sucks! Being friends with you bites and not in the cool way!'' Lol#He's just being a baby and coming to terms with his feelings#And Peepers might possibly be picking up on that a little bit :) It's still comedically optimized not to worry lol ♫#Awesome is only starting to approach his own feelings but he's being very obvious - throwing a tantrum even lol#So Peeps noticing before Awesome realizing he should be hiding it way harder than he currently is - he just doesn't know yet!#Probably both blushing up a storm just before bed that night lol ''Can't believe I said all that to him'' ''He takes me seriously'' hehe <3#It feels good! Trust and understanding slowly building up :) That's what makes me interested in their dynamic! :D
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me flirting w every ramattra in all my matches
#ramzo#i still think bowstaff is a cute name for them#i love how the first ram/hanzo interaction i had turned into a domino effect and now its my fav rare pair#i feel 100% sane about making my own content for them if i want to see more of it hhhh#hanzo shimada#ramattra#Overwatch#my art
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spent an impromptu day with a friend and then her kids,, my social battery is dead
#kiki speaky#was feeling chatty earlier but Not Anymore lol#my brain still hurts from trying to understand what her daughter was saying i hate that about both kids and audio processing disorders hhhh#idc if it’s 8:30 i’m going tf to sleep 😭#lying i’m gonna go think about vanilla for four hours
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#i think it's a little fucked up but a little funny that my mental state is currently at such a bad point where it's like.#any stress sends me into emotionally constipated panic. where it doesn't really show through for the most part. for the most part i seem ok.#and then if you crack me just even a little bit it's like that one modern art piece can't help myself#where im trying my best to juggle and maintain the facade of being fine but you can tell im tired and one deviation away from crumbling down#but can i cry? haha no. instead i just panic. everything sends me into silent panic. and i just think about really dramatic responses.#i hold my breath and worry that if i do anything wrong everything I've worked so so hard for will just come toppling down#because it has before. something you've poured your heart into. something you've cared so much about. can just be. so. out of your control#and you lose your voice and you lose your agency and you lose your will to fight and you lose a little bit of yourself#I don't know if i will ever get it back. it's been a while. I don't know if i can ever regain my confidence back. i miss who i was sometimes#i used to be warm. i used to be sure of myself. i used to carry hope around like a small star. i miss her. the person i was.#someone who could light up a room without trying so hard. someone who could make others smile without giving it too much thought.#someone who could make others feel good about being there and being alive. i barely feel good about myself these days sometimes. somehow.#I don't know how to be that girl anymore. everything feels a little forced. it shouldn't have to feel this hard. it used to feel natural.#i have moments where i feel like myself again. happy. confident. and then im brought back to reality almost immediately.#i feel guilty for feeling good. i feel guilty for being confident. and then i go hating myself again. it does weigh on me. what she said.#im sorry that i used to like myself. im sorry it made you feel bad about yourself. see. i hate myself now. do you forgive me now? hehe#I'll get over it one day. I'll get over it soon. i hate feeling like this. the overwhelming ego death. it makes me feel really shitty.#i hate this hehe i want to run away so badly but i know running away never solves anything you come back and the problem is still there#so i will go through it and i will fail and i will fall and i will stumble and hurt myself and feel humiliated and terrible throughout#but it will be fine. but I'll get through it and realize it wasn't that bad. I'll get through it and try again and again until i get there.#i need to stop seeking validation from people who won't give it. stop seeking comfort from people who won't give it.#stop hanging with people who make me feel worse. and stuff like that. it's like quitting an addiction hhhh i don't get it#i have friends who treat me really well. i have friends who i love and love me a lot.#i just can't quit certain people. part of it is bc im scared of change and part of it is bc i don't want to be more reliant on others#especially the people i do really care about and love and who love me bc. i think. if i have one more abandonment. i will actually. mm.#i think i would fully lose my ability to love new people haha like. romantically and platonically. haha.#but anyway that's the trauma speaking i will overcome it I won't let it control how i live haha#i will be ok i will be ok spring will be here eventually it's just the seasonal stuff#tw health#delete later
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Started thinking about bare skin kisses and blacked out...😳
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert art#self shipping community#self insert community#self insert x canon#all might x oc#yagi toshinori#toshinori yagi#is this too spicy?? i dunno i think its pretty tame but im still like HHHH#DONT LOOK TOO HARD#ITS INTIMATE#i just NEEDED to draw some soft touchy feely shit idk i blacked out#love how after posting that list of drawing ideas i did NONE of them#prolly cause im thinking too hard#i didnt have to think too hard about this 👉👈#jhe deserves to be kissed in his small form#ough i wanna rub his shoulders and kiss him and play with his hair hes my BABYGIRL 😭😭💖💖💖#❤️ scars and stripes 💙
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